Monday, October 06, 2008

blame/self-esteem

you may all wonder just what this is about...but i am going to try and explain what i mean..i have been blaming my self for months about all the oh woe shit i am going through,blaming my self for all that has transpired with my ex, my son, my daughter, its all been my fault, i have caused it all, no one else had anything to do with it.....so the more i blame myself of all the crap the lower my self esteem has been moving to the point where i am so damn depressed
but........there is this miracle man....and if you have not checked him out make sure you check out the site Gaytwogether.......Michael has by far the biggest heart, the most kind,gentle loving spirit out of anyone i have ever had the pleasure of knowing...he announced to the world today on how deeply deeply he is in love with his steven....this is a happy miracle story that you all need to read, his daily diary is just with out word, wonderful...check it out, anyway he has been talking with me and is getting me to look at things a whole new way...positive,wonderful, and when i walked outside this morning i saw the sun, heard the birds, could smell the wonderful smell of fall in the air...i feel alive again, first time in a long time and yes, i am a good person, yes i am wonderful, and there will be someone out there that will be damn lucky to find me
thank you dear michael

6 comments:

A Lewis said...

no, No, NO...it's not "your fault" that you're gay. it's the other person's (your son, etc....) inability to deal with it. It's THEIR issue. not yours. Let them keep their own troubles. You've got enough of your own without taking on someone else's. Hugs.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

"and yes, i am a good person, yes i am wonderful, and there will be someone out there that will be damn lucky to find me" Sheesh! I could have told you that long ago buddy! ;)

Plus allow me to 'second' that thought from Lewis.

Derek said...

I just have to agree you are quite the amazing man....give yourself some credit...you have made some huge changes....because you are being who you were meant to be...that in all honesty can not make you bad ....but AWESOME!

Bear Me Out said...

All your fault? Sweetie, you ain't that powerful.

WOnderful, beautiful, sexy, courageious? You'd better believe you are!

Stephen said...

And in case you forget just how wonderful and amazing you are, I'll be here to remind you. Here is some reminding you (((HUGS))))

Michael in Norfolk said...

I am glad that you have finally let go some of the guilt and baggage that you had allowed to follow you. It took me a long while to make that switch and get on with my living my life authentically.

You ARE a good person and I've enjoyed out talks immensely. Hang in there sweetie.

Michael