Monday, September 11, 2006
MARRIED????
ok good morning guys its monday 9/11 and on this day we have much to reflect on, have been thinking alot lately about exactly what married means to me and her now.....while we still share the checking account, go to church on sundays and do our duties there,i involved with music and worship and she involved with teaching the kids, but, thats where it stops, we come home, usually her before me, although sometimes her and my daughter will go out and i have no idea where they are or when they are coming home, we don't talk, we don't fight, we don't laugh,we just don't. yesterday i found out they had been planning for a month to go to chicago in jan to see the broadway play wicked, while i think its great that they are going away, a little comment about hey, this is what we are doing would be nice. we have our own rooms now, been for a while, but while her door remains closed all the time, she still has her clothes in "my" room and leaves shit laying all over the bed, clothes piled on the bed, what ever, guys i am soooo ready to make the break and leave, but its my family home, i was born there, and i am not going to be the one to leave, i admit that there have been a few fellows this past year, but it gets to a point that i am very lonely, and just would like some great conversation over a coffee, pepsi, something besides coming home to silence and spending the evening in my yard working, then walking the dog and going to bed........is this married???? any of you feel this way
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3 comments:
dave, it is such a tough row to hoe. And, not to decide is to decide. We have to take steps for ourselves, else we'll be left by the steps others take.
It's leftovers or else.
Though my life at home isn't so bad, there is a tension that bothers me and keeps me up at night. I know not what to do, and I know that decision time must come. ANd soon.
Oh Dave, I sooo know what you are going through. I lived with my ex wife in the home I was christened in, my father passed away in, and well memories abound. The only difference is that it was part of my grandfather's trust and I could leave knowing that no matter what happened eventually she would have to move out. And she did in fact a year later, when I moved back in with my boyfriend.
Look at it this way, your daughter will live on in that house. It's her heritage as well. I know it seems like a great sacrifice but look at it from that perspective.
There is a certain peace you will achieve by leaving. I can't explain it but you will know when and if the day comes.
*Giant Persian Hugs* to my buddy in Cleveland
Oh and kinda keep us more regularly updated ok?
:)
thanks jim, i now know that even though i may have to leave, that i will always have those memories of growing up there, raising my kids there and lots of other happy times, and yeah bud, i will update more often...look, 2 today
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