Tuesday, October 24, 2006
what is love.....really
i have spent the last several days ,weeks, months, recounting my life over the last couple years and wondering how i got to this point, its like i have come so far in my journey and have gotten to this point and am stuck........can't move forward, can't go backwards, who would want to.....have no real relationships, i mean no one i can wrap my arms around and feel the weight of the world leave my shoulders and just escape into his world.....i live in the same house with 2 people, wife and daughter, and thats it, i live there.......its a house, its not a home anymore, i go to work, come home, end up puttsing around doing a few things, will run to the store for something or other, walk the dog and go to bed, this is every night, so tired of going to bed alone, so long for the comfort of that body next to me, the safety and security of knowing ones soul and being are totally loved and needed, i don't like the feeling of not being needed or wanted for anything other than my paycheck to keep the house going, just wonder sometimes if all this is worth going on for..........later guys
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4 comments:
Giant Hugs buddy, I can't imagine what it's like to live under those conditions day in and day out.
I mean that sounds very much like my own life, except I live alone, can do anything I want, but lack the confidence or something to escape off and meet "the one".
It's lonely going to bed by yourself every night, I know that all too well.
Not knowing all the details of your life (yet), Is some sort of liberation from your wife possible in the near future??
What is it holding you back?
finances,finances,finances....the almighty fucking dollar....and the fact she works for our church and if we divorce they will terminate her as our church does not believe in divorce for any reason....perhaps i should show up at church one sunday with some really hot guy......
If anyone does, I hear your screams. But, I don't have the answers or the magic pill that could be given to wipe away the memories, to be able to start afresh, but I do have a shoulder if you need to talk.
There is some answer but also it's going to involve a leap of faith when you determine you are comfortrable with any ramifications.
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